It’s only just begun but I’m already sick of the holiday. All we’ve done is go to my parent’s house last night. In a few hours we go to Rob’s parents’ house for dinner. My problem is that we have no idea of how many people will be there, which is Hell for someone like me with severe social anxiety. To say that I’m less than excited would be a vast understatement.
I can’t wait for all to be over and done with because I can’t take much more. If that makes me sound like a bad guy, I can’t help it. The Christmas holidays just get under my skin, I don’t know why they just do.
As a kid, I loved Christmas Eve because we would go to my Granny’s house for snacks, family and our gifts. Granny’s birthday was December 23rd, and we would celebrate her birthday while we were all together on Christmas Eve. We would buy her a birthday cake, sing and generally stuff ourselves silly. The best part is Granny knew of my love of cheesecake so she made sure that I always had a sampler of cheesecake just for me. It was my favorite part of the day.
I think that, December 2001, was the last Christmas holiday that I truly enjoyed. Even when the Boys were younger, little babies, I never really enjoyed the holiday, it had lost all its magic for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever have it back, find it again.
Maybe one day my Boys can help show me the way back to the magic of the holiday. Right now because of zillion different reasons, it’s the right time. Hopefully someday soon, they will show me the magic, lead the way back to it all, then maybe I won’t always hate the holiday and might actually learn to enjoy it.